


Path to Redemption

by klutzy34



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 2x10 coda, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 12:09:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11577801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klutzy34/pseuds/klutzy34
Summary: Fix-it coda for 2x10. Jenna's actions lost her their trust, but not her life and their faith that she could be one of them again.





	Path to Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely adored Jenna. Jenna never died. Instead she received an absolutely wonderful redemption arc.

Soft, rhythmic beeps. Smell of antiseptic nearly pushed out by the light, fresh oxygen forced up her nose by something small and plastic in each nostril. When she opened her eyes, the blurry room was far brighter than the last she remembered - or wanted it to be. Fingers stretched delicately, testing, rough blankets and sheets brushing against her fingertips, a minute reassurance that yes, she was still alive.

The room slowly came into focus as Jenna stared at the ceiling, mind turning inward in analysis. Her body was mostly pleasantly numb, refusing to move under what she assumed to be the careful administration of pain medication through the IV she felt in the crux of her elbow. When she drew in the first big breath, unable to bring herself to before, she felt the pulling sensation shove through the hazy layers, a stark reminder of the gun pointed in that dank, dark basement, a finger on the trigger and then a gunshot. 

The breath came out in a painful expulsion as control over her emotions slipped and Jenna squeezed her eyes shut, hot tears running down her cheeks. She didn’t deserve to be here, alive, not after what she’d done...and all for naught. All the guilt she acquired, hoping that she would be able to fix it, to live with what she couldn’t once Josh was safe at her side again (and don’t think she didn’t plan until she needed double letters to name the plans) was for absolutely nothing. She’d betrayed the closest thing to family, especially the man who brought her into the fold.

Jenna brought her hands to her face, the silent sobs shaking her body as images flashed in her mind. Josh, his skin putrefying and rotting off his bones, so long dead. Steve, dangling from the ceiling by a chain. Then the two merged to become Steve, dead and rotting, dangling from that very chain, dead by her hand, as much as she contributed.

“I killed him.” The words slipped out softly and her shoulders trembled, her damp palms slipping up to tightly grip her hair. She never wanted to work with Wo Fat, not after all she knew he was capable of. She knew better than that and yet the charming snake slithered past her carefully built mental barriers and offered her the most dangerous thing of all: hope. Hope of Josh being alive, hope that she could rectify the mistake that lost him in the first place. All she had to do was give him Steve.

She felt nauseous, both then and now. Giving him Steve, she’d stupidly made herself believe that Steve would find a way out, that the rest of Five-0 would come flying in, rescue him before anything happened. In those carefully crafted excuses, Josh was saved, Steve was saved, Wo Fat caught. Now, it all seemed like a child’s naive belief and she felt even worse. The lengths she went to make the betrayal of someone she admired and respected, working with an utter bastard, explainable, understandable. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

God forgive her because she would never forgive herself.

She never heard the door creak open to the hospital room, but she did feel the edge of the bed sink down by her knee as someone sat, hands far bigger than hers, masculine and rough, wrapping around her wrists and gently pulling them away from her face. “Jenna, let go.” The voice sounded so much like Steve and yet it couldn’t be. He was dead like Josh now, the two of them sharing the same mausoleum that she should have been in. The hands gave another gentle tug. “Come on, Jenna. Look at me.” So patient, much more patient than she deserved.

Jenna finally released the death grip on her hair, blinking blearily at her visitor as the tears in her eyes kept the picture from growing clear. A thumb brushed along the bottom of her eye, then the other, and Steve’s concerned expression, his face showing the wear and tear of torture, came into focus. “You’re not here,” she whispered, resting a hand over her mouth as she stared at him. “This is...this is my mind creating a scenario in which I try to live with what I did by believing you’re alive.”

He took her hand in both of his, squeezing tightly. “Jenna, I am alive,” Steve told her firmly, gaze never wavering from hers. “Look at me. I’m a little banged up but I’m still alive. So are you.” For the first time, she felt at the bandages under the pale blue hospital gown. “You scared us.”

His words shocked her and she stared at him in disbelief. “I betrayed you. I betrayed them. Why would you be scared for me? I don’t deserve it.” The earnest question tumbled out before she could stop it, Steve’s brow furrowing. 

“You did betray us,” he said, and she immediately wanted to thank him for not sugarcoating it, “but as far as reasons go...there’s not a one of us that wouldn’t go extreme lengths for the ones we love. I’m not happy about it and I wish you’d found a way to communicate with us, Jenna, but I’m not going to write you off as a lost cause either. You’re not a bad person, just a good one that made a terrible decision. One that you were manipulated into.” And just like that, his expression started to soften into sympathy and the tears started again, Jenna dropping her gaze to her lap because she could no longer meet his eyes.

“I was so stupid,” she whispered. “There’s a reason analysts stay out of the field. I should have...I should have known. Josh wasn’t that high ranking, they wouldn’t...he made me believe and then I saw him. The last image I’ll have of him is…” Jenna waved her hands, indicating nothing.

“He also saved our lives.”

“He wouldn’t have had to if I hadn’t put them in danger. I convinced myself that you would be all right, that would escape, that the team would come get you, just to make myself...I was played and I walked right into it.” Steve’s hand squeezed around hers again and this time she squeezed back, grateful for the lifeline.

“I’m alive and nothing a few days of rest won’t fix. I also know that you’re paying for what you did in your own private hell, so I’m not going to add to it,” Steve told her. “When you’re ready, the rest of the team would like to come see you. None of us are done with you, Jenna, although you’re going to have to earn our trust back.”

Jenna wanted to sink her nails into her arm and squeeze until it hurt so much that she knew it wasn’t a dream, that what little hope was left wasn’t weaving itself into an intricate delusion. Instead, she focused on their hands, swallowing hard, trying to find the words to express how appreciative she was of that. “I’ll help you get him. I want the bastard gone,” she said, finally lifting her gaze gain to Steve’s. He nodded slowly. 

“I know. That’s part of why I want you to come back, why I want to give you a second chance. Help me catch him, Jenna, bring him to justice. For Josh and all the rest of his victims.” She started to draw herself up, square her shoulders, but she was still too damn tired, still so sore despite the pain medication, so she flopped wearily against the pillow. 

Steve slid a hand into one of his pockets and withdrew something small and shiny, holding it out to her. “Danny grabbed this, wanted to give it back to you. Said it didn’t do anything, but it might have special significance for you.” He dropped it into her palm, hand moving away to show the delicate gold cross on its chain. Jenna tightened her fingers around it, bringing the hand to her lips.

“Josh gave this to me. Thank you.” Nodding once, Steve rose up off the bed. She noticed he moved slowly, wincing lightly here and there, and she pretended not to notice.

“Rest up, Jenna. You’ve got a long road ahead of you.” Whether healing or to rebuild trust, she didn’t ask: she didn’t need to. Both would be her main focus, now that she was given a second chance. Never again would she be so trusting herself, so easy to fall. When she left the hospital, a new Jenna, harder, colder, would walk into headquarters again and she would be relentless. She would show them that she could be trusted again and she would be there to look Wo Fat in the eye when Steve dragged him in.

“Steve,” she said, raising her head. He stopped in the doorway. “I’m sorry,” she added, putting every heartfelt emotion behind that generic statement. “I can’t ever make it up to you, but I will try my hardest.”

Steve nodded once. There was a wall up in his expression now, one she remembered from the first time they met, back before she was team, ohana. That struck her in the heart and she blew out a shaky breath. That, in time, would also pass. She hoped. “I know,” he said quietly. “Take it easy, Jenna.” And with that, he was gone, leaving her to wonder if the conversation had really taken place at all, if she was really that lucky.

No, not that lucky. The man she loved was still dead. Jenna opened her hand, draping the chain over her fingers before she brought the small cross to her lips, kissing it as if she could imbue it with every good memory of her and Josh to keep safely and forever. “I love you and I’ll see you again,” she said, “but until then, I’ll make sure never to fall into a trap again. I’ll do you proud and you’ll have justice.” She clenched her fingers around the cross again and lay back, staring out the window to the lush Hawaiian landscape.

If she had to give it her last breath to see it done, she would.


End file.
